One... Two... Three... It's all coming back to me. I saw myself take a leap from the tower of my mind... You didn't think I was going to say a building, cos that would be ridiculous to think a narcissist like me will try to take his own life.
*Coughs* from within
Other Guy: Actually...
Me: Actually what? Oh... Let me re-introduce you all to mark, an installation that sifts through my deeds. Who neglects the good ones and chastise me for the bad decisions. Not to forget, he is the Other Guy
Other Guy: Not true, we both believe that good deeds are only for inner peace not for public commendation
Me: Finally .... something we both agree on
Other Guy: that's a good start, we are getting there.
Other Guy: So back to the issue of "Narcissism" and "Standing Tall"
Me:What about it?
Other Guy: I can remember vividly, sometimes last year. When you tried to take your own life.
Me: I have no memory of that
Other Guy: When...
Me: Okay... Okay... We get, no need for too much information
Other Guy: Okay ..is that another confirmation of my words within minutes ...oh, it's going to be a good week
Other Guy: but really, I still have some blurry areas about that matter
Me: what? You were there all through
Other Guy: like I have said over and over again... I only have access to places you allow me through
Me: Well..i will rather grant you access than let this people see me in my most vulnerable moment
Other Guy: It doesn't work like that, you at least have to open up about it ... Some memories are too dark to see through
Me: We do this my way... Or nah!!
Other Guy: I hate it when you are in control
Me: I am always in control you invisible man... Or are you even a man.. Lol... You invisible installation *Archer's Sarcasm*
Other Guy: Okay, fair enough ..Laugh all you like, but we don't have all day for this
Me: Really, I always say that not you
Other Guy: Whatever!!
Me: I sense tension in the air
Other Guy: Are we going to do this or nah?
Me: Sure, but we almost out of time ...so we have to break the story into parts, Will that be fine by you guys?
*Looks right and left*
Me: Okay, In the absence of no objection ...Let's do this
Last year, i decided to take on a new project, slightly emotional but with preemptive productivity in a good way ..lol. Getting on this project, i decided to abandon every other project i had within my radar "Keyword being Abandon". It was so amazing, i had never seen anything like this in my 20+ years of intricate fun life. Like any other tertiary project or long essay, it was quite easy but tasking in the beginning because of the new zeal to please, but along the line reality started setting.I tried everything possible to stay ready for the ultimate test which is defending and owning the situation in times of poacher's visit, and that was exactly what i did. I owned my own situation.
Other Guy: So, what happened, i am listening ...everyone is waiting
Me: Sorry, I almost forgot i was narrating, it felt like "Total Recall" in here .. you know its so funny when we put all we have got into a project, hoping for its sustainability but it later fails.
Other Guy: Yeah right, but the sad truth is that we always know from the onset that there would be ups and downs ...infact, we are always certain that a time will come when we would have to fight to sustain our own creations
Me: True...I decided to neglect all signs ... I was caught up in the moment, i basked in the little proceeds that appeared gigantic at the time. first month passed, second month passed, and the third .... boom!! it was the seventh month, things started falling apart but the zeal and will held everything together not in reality but in my head,
"The cynical nature of humans scares me, remembering i am human scares me more"- Olaniyi Ayodele
I continued to fight to hold things together, I assumed the least from competitions and upcoming enthusiasts within the same industry, hoping my project was superior to all others. In fact, i often got assurances from my assistant that everything is going to be okay. The words were so comforting that i loosely and vaguely followed a pattern of assumed mutual benefit for close to two months. Until this fateful day, when i decided to call my project developer who refused to speak but after much pestering, (s)he said that all was lost, that its all gone. "You have not been focusing on the things that matter most, you lag behind in aspects of management and continuity, you assume too little of divinity in holding this business of ours"- i walked out of where i was.
I broke into tears, i grabbed some sticks of Oris-Str on my way home, which i gently puffed while i sat down by the balcony and gazed into the clouds hoping for a miracle to happen. Days passed, i stared at my phone at interval hoping for a phone call or a message saying everything is going to be fine, but Nah ...didn't get none.
Well, as days passed matters only got worse because i was too bored to be busy, and also too sad to be grateful.
"Suicide is an act of cowardice and wickedness, Cos you only transfer your pains to your loved ones"
Slowly, the idea started running through my head, the idea of getting it over with...questions of life being what we really feel it is, questions like "Is it really worth it?" Seeing someone else bask and boast with something you have once put so much effort into, seeing another person in your former shoes without any friendly or charity exchange. So i gradually thought of a way to just end it all already.
Me: Well, Mark this where i am going to put a pause on the story today, I really gotta get back to other things right now ... got an inbox of unattended emails right now
Other Guy: I get but, I hope our audience understand you are not just trying to put them on suspense
Me: Errrrm...that was not the plan, but now that you have mentioned ... It won't be a bad idea to do that, suspense is good for stories, especially when you don't mind your own business ...lol.
Other Guy: Okay then, you are the boss
Me: Yes i am ... Gotta jet
*Turns* and sees frowning audience
Oopp!!! Guys, I am really sorry i gotta jet. Be rest assured that i got the rest of the gist for you next week or nah .... lol...I know someone is already asking questions about the plot, someone is even saying "What kind of project gets so emotional" Well, over to you to decide whether this is "Fictional Maybe"
Me: You were so busy snooping around my memory, you forgot to ask about the planned plot
Other Guy: Yeah ..True. You were already far into the story when i realized that i already aided a situation of classic misdirection
Me: Well, i won't call it classic misdirection ... *Sneezes* .then.*dusts nose* maybe i just have something planned out
Other Guy: I hate surprises, especially when it is coming from you
Me: Wow, so good to find out how much you appreciate my gestures after all these years
About the plot, i have a "Bonus Episode" coming up, titled "Constant reminder of the Plot" this is for my geeks, fanatics, and potheads ...grab a chair, fasten your seat belt, call your dealer and grab your crack pot .... I got you covered.
See you next week or before .... ;) :)