Okay ... thanks to everyone for the wait, the good news is that it is over now. I had something else
planned out for today but i had an emergency conversation with MARK earlier this afternoon.
Well, about the question "Do I love People?" I feel i do, but like a normal person, when i sense ill reciprocation, i switch to hate - not dislike, HATE.
The following is the transcript of my conversation with the other guy;
Me: (inner thoughts) why do i always get this feeling of being under-compensated
Other Guy: Hello there ... I can't help but notice the recurring thoughts of hate
Me: Get out of my head ....You pest
Other Guy: Unfortunately, I cannot do that and I don't wish to
Me: Please not today ... I feel i deserve more than i get from people
Other Guy: What if the question is not "Do people love you?" and its "Do you love people?"
Me: I love people, everyone knows that
Other Guy: Yet again, another hasty conclusion.... You do things that depicts you as the messiah don't necessarily mean you love people
Me: I am no messiah ... infact, i am far from it. I just try my best to be civil and helpful
Other Guy: So why do you think people should love you? Why have you concluded that your parameters for love should be the same with others?
Me: I just feel no-one should try this hard and not be loved in return. I have been through thick and thin with people and i have harbored so much pain ... this hasn't stopped me from being the jovial and well meaning person i have always been.
Other Guy: We need to get somethings straight .. for the sake of our new audience.
Me: Like what and what?
Other Guy: This people have waited this long to have you deliver a blockbuster, not a mushy interpretation of your personal feelings
Me: Well ... they are getting exactly what i promised "a conversation between me and my conscience" , infact better as they are getting it in real time.
Other Guy: So what exactly triggered this thoughts today please?
Me: Lately, I have been seeing life a lot differently ... I am beginning to feel more of hate than love for people
Other Guy: That is not a good thing .. because once you go south, it is really costly to come back
Me: What is is it with people and taking others for granted? first, it is you trying to please them, so they can love you ... Later, it is them getting use to it and no reciprocation of your kind gesture.
Other Guy: Do we name names? or we keep the slight aura of subliminal messages anon?
Me: I wish we could mention names really ...but that will be defeating the purpose of this opportunity. I seriously don't wish to spark up tension from my first publication of this.
Other Guy: Okay ... that is understandable.
Me: So i have been thinking about some key things that people tend to overlook.
- Why do people expect you to continue doing same good things even though they have done absolutely nothing to deserve the act
- Is it an act of kindness to put people before myself or stupidity?
- Is there a limit to what we can take as humans?
- I hope there is a punishment for everyone who takes advantage of others in the afterlife.
Other Guy: Well ... that's a lot, i can't believe i have not dabbled into this train of thoughts and you have had them for days now. I am seriously beginning to rethink this idea
Me: No ... we are exactly where we are suppose to be... infact i feel much better as i vent here. I sincerely hope people understand that everyday won't be like this.
Other Guy: So do you want us to talk about everything you outlined earlier here or you want them later?
Me: The moment i put them out here, they became public business ... so let't talk
Other Guy: firstly, noone expects anything from you, you just try really hard. social consequences have created a recurring chain of event that makes us feel indebted to the world ... this is why people go to any length to please others and not "Satisfy them".
I believe it is stupidity to put others before yourself, but you could love them as you love yourself (even the bible confirms that)
"Love your Neighbour as yourself, No other commandment is greater than this"
The true act of kindness rests in your ability to love others as much as you love yourself, but doing much lower is definitely acceptable.
Well, i do not think there is a limit to what we can take as humans. think about it "People go to church every other day, and still come back to their old ways" "We live in a world where killing is misunderstood for evangelism " "We have seen governments that preach peace but endorse wars" and many more. so i believe that the world, divine beings and nature should have had enough if we there was a limit to what we can take as humans.
Yes .. all men will die or better yet cross over to the after life, but we are in no place to wish for punishments for people's iniquities.
Me: Wow!!! Wait ... how does this work? do you do research or these are all products of my residual knowledge? because this is like the most educating conversation i have had in a while.
Other Guy: I am flattered really. It's all you and i am glad you have finally realized that there is so much good than to allow social consequences change your perspective of the world.
Me: I really don't know if it is crazy to assume i talked to a shrink, even though it is all in my head
Other Guy: Well, see it as "Plato locking himself up to write decades of untested philosophies" which are regarded as go-to outlines by world governments in contemporary times.
Me: Thanks ... Didn't know it would get to this but Thanks ....
Well.... Well .... What i had planned out was fun but i don't think as intellectually constructed like this, but take this as a sneak peak into next week's episode.
Other Guy: About "Yard", we are on the same page right?
Me: It depends on your definition of "Yard"
Other Guy: What did you mean by "Light up a Yard" and stop being a con
Me: *Hits Blunt* Dude!!! that was blunt .....
Other Guy: Whaaaaatttt!!!!???
Thanks for your time ... See you next week